You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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