wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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