Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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