i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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