The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
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She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
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IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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