she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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