Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
...so i touched it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize