I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Randomize
