May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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