Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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