The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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