He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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