sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching her eat just hurts me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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