Got a toothbrush?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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