Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize