Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
