so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize