OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
