Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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