god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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