her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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