You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
