you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
