Say something about gay babies.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
