My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
