Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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