i jhust puked up my retainher.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
