Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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