DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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