Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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