I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize