dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize