Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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