: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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