Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize