Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
