If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
