It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
