Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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