well you can't waste a boner
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
