I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
