dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
