Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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