Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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