Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
