Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
