Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
