The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
