The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hippo gnu deer
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
