I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
