i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
