Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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