You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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