sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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