It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize