I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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