My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
